*When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

*Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

*Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.

*When smoking a fish, never inhale.

*A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.
A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

*The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges Steer clear of packs named for landfills.

*While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.
Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

*Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

*Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.      Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

*You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

*You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

*When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

*You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.